getting in shape

I think I've been pretty successful in my exercise plan. I get on the elliptical for half an hour four days a week after work and go about 2.5 to 3.5 miles (depending on my determination). If I'm fortunate enough to have the workout room to myself, I turn on the history channel--yes, I'm that much of a nerd--and watch it with the volume up. If I don't have the workout room to myself I stare into space with my ipod on. Watching TV, reading closed captioning, and keeping a decent speed is just way too much work. I was really booking it the other day on the elliptical and this lady was like, "Whoa! Where are you heading off to?" I smiled but kept going. I wanted to answer, "Don't distract me, woman! I'm going to have a flat stomach by April!"

That's my dream goal, but I think I started a little late to reach that. At work last week, I declared--quite randomly--that I was going to have abs by June. My coworker looked at me and said, "You're going to have what?"

"Abs. By June. That gives me--what--five and a half months?"

"Why?"

"Why not? I've always wanted some definition. I'm not talking a six-pack or anything. That'd be crazy."

"Abs by June."

"Yes. Is that unrealistic?"

A customer walked up to the counter by this point with one of those weird health/exercise magazines. "Who wants abs by June?"

Me: "I do!"

Coworker: She points to the cover of the magazine. "Look, she's got abs."

We all examine the cover.

Customer: "She's in her 50s. She looks great, doesn't she?"

Me: "Sure. I don't think I really want to be that ripped. I just want to be gawked at when I'm in my bikini... and not because I have a big butt and huge boobs."

Coworker: "If she's 50 and has abs, you can do it, Kaitlin."

Me: "Thanks for the vote of confidence but she's one of those weird people who eat, drink, and breathe exercise. And it's her job. I'm a normal American who might jump on the treadmill once in a blue moon but would much rather go out for a beer."

So yeah, those are my goals. Have a flat stomach by April, have abs by June. I think I've set myself up for failure.

edit: I've changed the title of my blog. The only reason it was The Sound of Silence was because I couldn't think of a title way back in '04. Titles aren't my forte. Shout out to Dr. Seuss!