the apple tree

All my life my parents have told me the same thing: The apple doesn't fall very far from the tree.

To my horror, the other day I've discovered that the damn apple has landed at the trunk. Since I've become lead in the cafe at work, I catch myself saying mommy-isms. It's like I've suddenly become mom to not only the customers but to my coworkers as well. For example: Today, as I do every Thursday, I had shipment. I take a bunch of boxes and cram them into storage spaces that aren't always large enough to fit them. It's an art form. Later, I'm checking the expiration dates on different pastries and I come across one that isn't properly wrapped in cling-wrap. I sigh dramatically and whip it out of the refrigerator and out pops something I've heard my mother say since I was old enough to listen, "Does it take a college education to wrap something in plastic?"

That phrase doesn't phase me at first. It's not until I go to find the plastic wrap that I discover the empty carton of plastic wrap and the fact that I'm repeating things my mother always said to me. It can't be helped. An even bigger dramatic sigh escapes me (if that's possible) and I throw the box out and exclaim, "I guess it does take a college education!"

I later find an empty box in the freezer and exasperation bursts forth. "Come on, people! Throw out the empty box!"

All this is said to myself since this is before the opening shift arrives.

Various other mommy-isms spew out of my mouth throughout my workday. Such things as "Clean up after yourselves." "Don't touch that!" "No, I don't know where you put your wallet." "Yes, you can go to the bathroom." "Did you do your weekly task?" "Tie your shoes." "You're wearing that?" "Careful, it's hot." "Don't do that if it hurts."

I'm not even going into the customers. The Mystery of the Exploding Sugar Packets still escapes me.

Continuing in the mommy-ism vein. On Monday, Jessica and I had our weekly meeting with our manager. We're sitting in the cafe talking about cleaning the workspace, making sure the closing shift is doing everything right, making sure the weekly chores are done, etc. and I look over and see Chris standing on the counter wiping down the menu signs. My jaw drops and completely ignoring my manager I go, "Chris! What are you doing?"

Chris: "My weekly task?"

Me: "I see that. What are you doing standing on the counter? That's disgusting!"

Chris: "Oh... ummm... I needed to reach the sign..."

Me: "So stand on the ladder. Don't stand on the counter. People's food goes on that counter. Make sure you clean the counter."

He gets down and cleans the counter and I turn my attention back to Jessica and Patty. They're both staring at me in amazement before Jessica bursts out laughing. Patty just shook her head and continued the meeting.

I totally got owned by the mocha yesterday. The mocha tends to splash easily. Well, I'm pumping mocha into a cup and next thing I know it's all over my face... and there's no mirror behind the counter and I'm the only one there at the time so I had to clean it up the best I could... though I still felt self-conscious.

FAFSA is evil and can burn.