ouch

have you ever read something that just made you want to cringe? like it's painful to read? i'm not claiming to be an awe inspiring writer. heck, i'm not even claiming that i can write well but i'm not going to put something up on a site that has a lot of traffic and expect people to want to read it. there are far better writers out there and i'm not going to taint webspace (or waste someone's time) by posting my feeble attempt at writing.

lately i've been reading a lot of amature writers. a whole lot. i only choose the ones whose summaries are grammatically correct (or close to it) and don't say things like "i sux at summaries" or "i promise it's great!" if it says anything like that then the story probably sucks and it's probably not so great. not everyone's a writer. not everyone should be a writer. in fact, if i had the power, i'd revoke some of those "author's" keyboards. pollute the web with such terrible writing. it's terrible. it's one thing to start out and have a fuzzy plot, hazy dialogue, or weak description but it's totally another to blast through a story, have no plot, terrible dialogue, and absolutely no description. it's an affront to the writing and reading society. of course, no one's forcing you to read it but still, it'd be nice to cruise through the fiction site and not be confronted with such monsters.

and what's with these "author's notes" in the middle of narrative? i don't care what the author thinks! none of this:

and then joe-bob leaned forward, his breath tickling mary-sue's cheeks. she could feel the heat of embarrassment rise and she nervously licked her lips. joe-bob's eyes focus on her tongue's path and her heart leapt in her chest. (a/n: do you think i should make them kiss? you know, i should be real mean and have something happen. like, make the phone ring.) joe-bob couldn't resist the temptation. before she could pull away he caught her lips in a fiery kiss...

that just totally ruins the flow! any scene setting, tension building you had created is gone! yes, i know that's a real bad piece of writing but i made it up on the spot. the point is, i can't stand it when the author interrupts. oh yeah, and quotes are a good thing. so are paragraph breaks.

while i'm on the subject (i have to get this out all at once) what's with the pages of dialogue between the characters and the author? i'll be the first one to admit that the characters "talk" to me but i'm not about to actually post the script for the world to see.

ok, deep breaths.

/rant